Right now I am thinking about writing about business; which, I think will tie into doing interviews with entrepreneurs. I’d also like to write about people and also about the web. I guess if people can come to expect the majority of articles to be about certain subjects, that’d be good.

I guess I should start by writing frequently and see where it goes.

Blogged with Flock

As a result of exchanges with other cultures, ranging from war and conquest to trade and commerce to works of literature, we have borrowed widely. In fact, we have procured so many words from Latin, either directly or through French as an intermediary, that we would be far more accurate to describe English as Anglo-Latin, rather than Anglo-Saxon.

English also borrowed many words from Greek, especially in the fields of science and technology, as you will notice in the three Greek gifts entries.

A few modern English words are of Celtic or Celtic (pronounced Seltic) origin surviving from the language of the so-called barbaric people called kelts who inhabited Britain before the coming of the Romans in 2nd century AD. A few other words such as camp, street, and mile where left by the Romans themselves. When the Angles (Nordic group) and the Saxons (Germanic group) overran the land in the 5th century they incorporated into their own language certain Celtic and Latin words that survive today. Subsequent Scandinavian, that is Viking invasions, added many more words to the English tongue.

The most significant and permanent changes were yet to come however. When the Normans conquered England in 1066 AD English was principally Germanic with as we have noted a few Celtic words and some Latin words. The Normans brought with them their French tongue, which was actually only a Latin dialect. Neither language was able to absorb the other and for several hundred years the language of the ruling class was Norman, while the language of the working class was Anglo-Saxon. In time, however the two became joined into one. As a result the grammar was greatly simplified, believe it or not Old English had an even more bewildering grammar than does Modern English, and in many cases there came to be two different words with the same meaning. A plain Anglo-Saxon word such as pig or calf and a ritzy Norman word such as Pork or veal.

Through the ages English has been continually enriched by the addition of new words. The result is a complex language with depth and breadth. Our language can exhibit all the lilt and charm of the Romance languages all the precision and gusto of the Northern European group and all of the versatility and adaptability of Greek and Latin. The result of all this blending is a unique and potent language.

this is from Million Dollar Vocabulary by Dr. J. Michael Bennett

“Maybe we should have a baby.” And with these words I knew that Sofia and I had reached the pinnacle of stability. I was caught completely off guard because I have been attempting to become more distant lately. I have had a lot on my mind. Sofia and I were approaching our one-year anniversary. This has prompted a lot of the ever encouraged )( soul searching. I have been thinking about how it is going to end.
Everyone that gets married must hear about how he or she has a fifty-fifty chance. So you wonder what the proper criteria is to improve your odds, but in the end you just role the dice and watch for the hard eight.
I used to hate the idea of waiting to find out your future. I believed that the best way to make sure that you get what you want is to remove all the uncertainty. With marriage there isn’t anything you are supposed to be able to do because in the end you may discover that you’re gay or your wife may decide that her boyfriend from 1982 is the true love of her life.
It isn’t such a problem in itself that Sofia wants to have a child. After all that we have been through maybe it is a good thing. Although I really don’t think that this is what John and I had in mind when we began this love affair. And with that I believe I owe you an explanation. I haven’t decided that I am interested in exploring other sexual experiences; it is just that I don’t believe in love. I think love and faith or other such things are just a product of some strange physiological part of humans. I think that I had better take you back to where this all got started.
John and I became friends while we were at a Microsoft kickoff meeting. We were both laughing at our own jokes about the keynote speaker’s attempt to motivate the masses. I am sure that we had both been through Tony Robbins Ultimate Power tapes and we were still had all of our old bad habits.

“This is such crap. I mean first of all that man is going to need more throat surgery. I believe that his larynx may pop out on the table.”
“Yeah, that is if that vein is head doesn’t explode first.” I give a nodding smile of approval to my newfound heckling buddy. You know you are in luck when you find a heckling buddy. I have been meaning to write to Hasbro to come out with a new model. You pull the chord in his back and he has some cynical retort to whatever you are talking about. (I think that men’s time together should be studied to see how much of it is simply practice for what we say to women or material for speeches/books/toasts.)
“Honestly, you’d think that with the money that these people spend on these events that they want to study whether sales actually increase after everyone wakes up with their hangovers and their fuzzy memories about what we actually heard.”
(Need something funnier to say).
“Yeah, by the way I am Dylan.”
“Hola, Dylan. I am John.” He pulls his stick-on nametag away from his chest to revel his psuedo-name, which is (What name is uncomfortable for men to say: Dick, or Chester, such”
“Cute.”
“Well,
Dylan and John go on speaking for a long time and after a while they discover they are both witty and such.

So I had found myself a new friend. (Let Hasbro know they have one more satisfied customer.) John and I started spending time playing billiards while we badmouthed whatever we could think of to badmouth. The most interesting conversations always revolved around members of the finer sex. It seemed we both came from “challenging” homes and we both had a real critical eye against the sanctity of marriage and the difficulties in finding our soul mate.
I believe that most of the really terrible plans though out history must have been born between men trying to solve each other’s problems. Things seem to escalate to a point where neither knows if the other side is joking, but simply tries to verbally one-up each other. So were the best laid plans (find the reference).
John and I had a real soft spot for attacking the idea of love. I think that all of our opinions about love boiled down to the fact that neither of us believed in it. We figured we had both been in love. But, even that was just a silly misunderstanding about we were actually in.
At the core, love is simply a feeling that the only definition that someone can give you is that you will know when you are really in it. The same kind of thing goes for knowing who is the right person is to marry.
I have asked many happy and unhappy couples and have often received the brilliantly repetitive answer “You will know when it is right.”
I suppose that the passenger’s of the Titanic were given this same advice. “Ladies and gentlemen I wanted to inform you that we have hit a very large iceberg and the ship is sinking, but if you look on the bright side you now know what it is like to be on a sinking ship!”
At that moment those passengers must have sighed with relieve to finally understand the metaphor that they must have heard so many times.
Love and marriage, which one is the sinking ship and which one is the lifeboat.
While continually being beat by John at pool we began to develop a list of attributes that would increase our chances of finding a partner that would last until Liverpool (find out where the Titanic was sailing to). At first this list was mostly physical attributes and (the ability to perform amazing sexual feats).
I would just guess that just about everyone has compiled a list of the attributes that they expect their future spouse to possess. I think that most women would be shocked to learn that some men actually do compile list longer than 36-24-34 and blonde. In fact, my list was five pages long and covered topics such as mentality, social abilities, spirituality, and physical. )(I think I was probably really bored one night and got a little carried away.
John it turned out had a list as well. He didn’t actually commit it to paper for fear that it may be used against him, god forbid, he actually did get married someday. Together we began to develop our own list. Saying these thoughts out loud gave us a chance to (support) each other and helps us to see that our expectations were, okay. Although some of our requirements did go out the window, such as, She needs to have saved herself for marriage (mine); She needs to be a brunette (mine); She must be over 5’10” (John’s).
What we did come up with was a finally tuned tool to guarantee marital bliss.

1) She must be attractive.

This certainly doesn’t mean that she has to look like a model; we all know we have seen pictures on the front of the Enquirer that makes us think twice about who we think about in our sexual fantasies. We are talking about the kind of girl who takes care of herself. Well groomed. Well dressed. Cares about her appearance, but doesn’t obsess. She needs to be thin. We figure that since we are both thin she should be thin. I think there is a consensus about this point, we are both flexible enough to be realistic. You know what they say, “Shoot for the moon because even if you miss you still may end up marrying Christy Turlington.”

2)Sexually Satisfying

This one is a no brainer. Men know that the reason they cheat is because they are tired of their significant others for one reason or another. Women know that all they need to do to keep their man happy is have sex with their significant others. So to have the desire to stay married to someone they need to like having sex for the rest of their lives.
List through ten of things that are insightful and yet silly.

After accomplishing this Mount Everest of personal introspection and soul searching John and I fell down the other side. The next part of this plan was to remove the uncertainty of human interaction. The way that I see it people approach marriage from entirely the wrong side. It seems everyone wants to tell us how to make a marriage last or how to be happy within your couple and blah, blah, blah… The correct way to approach marriage is to simply remove the uncertainty about whether you’ll make it through the long haul. You wont so deal with it.
So John I decide the best way to approach our future marriages was to use a good investment strategy. A marriage is going to be our biggest investment so let’s use the same criteria. So we developed our plan.
We would begin with our due diligence. We would find the girl that met the criteria that we have established. Then we will set our time frame. Being young and uncertain about our futures we figured that a year would be plenty of time for our first round. As some famous investor said, “I became rich by always selling too early.” So after one year we would end things.
The best part was our plan of how to end the relationship. Each of us would have to sleep with each other’s spouses and so we could both divorce on the basis of fault. In the end we both come out the good guy for the next round. What girl would be able to resist the devoted husband whose wicked wife cheated on him with his own best friend?
This whole plan was beautiful because it really took care of all the problems with the world. Marriage is an experience and is better when it can be experienced with more than one person so you analyze what is good and what is bad objectively. So we began our search for girls who fit our criteria.
We really should have just made up some cards with the 10 points on the back and hand them out. Or even better we could simply create a questionnaire, similar to the kind that you receive for a job. You know, ask for references and everything.
So we finally had everything we needed to begin. We became so intoxicated with our whole plan we didn’t talk or think about anything else. Work became a playground to non-chualantly ask if girls fit the criteria. Dates basically were a ten-question game show. If a girl answered the questions correctly she received a call back if not, it was, “Oh, I had a really enchanting evening, will you be available next week? Yeah, great I will see you around, bye.”
After what seemed to be ages we finally narrowed down our choices to three girls.

The girls:

Ruth

The first girl’s name was Ruth. Ruth was by far the most attractive of them all. John met her while walking in the Village. He figured that with Ruth at least the first requirement was out of the way. Unlike most of the very beautiful women we approached Ruth was actually very kind. I am sure that every woman who is even remotely attractive in New York are at one time or another is told that they should be a model with Ruth it was certainly not just a line to try and get her number. I am sure that this was not the first time that she had been told this great peak into her future. I suppose that this why Ruth responded the way she did. She said “Oh, so you were hoping that I am anorexic and stupid.” To which John replied, “Actually, that is not fair because I have many friends that are models who are not do not have eating disorders or a below average mental accuatity.” To which Ruth replied, “but you were hoping.” To which John replied, “Of course the dumber and the skinnier the better.” To which John was slapped, which oddly enough and for reasons which we really cannot discover Ruth was slapped. At this point a wrestling match ensued that would have made The Rock proud. Equally proud would have been (some famous female wrestler) because John was pinned.
This is one of those rare experiences that can only happen when all of the stars are perfectly aligned. And if a person can just muster up the courage to call it fate, then one would be on the path to marital enlightenment.

Ruth I am sure was told this on a daily basis. (John used this same line of compliment, which when we talk about models we assume that they are anorexic and hopefully quite stupid, would have immediately disqualified her from our contest. Strangely enough Ruth was aware of this stereotype and asked told john that she decided to use her savage beauty on the Business Administration of New York University and pursuing loftier pursuits.)

Unfortunately, John and I were strict atheists (something like sounds like atheist, but refers to love), so we chalked this one up to one badass girl. She was pretty, resilient, witty, and sarcastic. We were tempted to include her in our planning and plotting on account of the probability to help us really come up with something fantastic, but on account of her being female and all she had to stay in the other camp. Ruth was a tremendously all

Sofia.

Sofia is a strange choice because she was a bit of serendipity. John knew her through work and I had met her numerous times through just shear chance. John told me that she a hard-nosed PR girl for a large cosmetic company. He had seen here more than once at work functions. She was always on cue and seemed to be the persona of social perfection. She could take an off color remark and let you know that you are an ass, but that you smell sweet. John really wasn’t in favor of her, but my encounters with her always led me to believe that she was a sensitive, caring girl that was longing for a deeper New York experience. I ran into her in all of my favorite quite places. I met her contemplating on the wall of contemplation in the Ford Foundation building. I ran (make a pun on bells) into her in the upper-west side bell tower. And oddly enough her and a friend must have been skipping work to visit the dirt museum to watch the morning raking. I always enjoyed chatting with her, as she was open and thoughtful.
John gave her the thumbs up after one day he had an interesting run into her.

Madison.

Ah, Madison. Madison was what every girl never wanted to be, but probably felt like at some point in her live. It was just that she was extremely open about her great longing for children and marriage. These attributes made it easy for us to choose her as a selection. She worked with John and during their many run-ins she continually kept John updated on her progress towards getting married. She had a very soft endearing Brooklyn accent and seemed to be able to dominate any conversation. She was agile enough to lead a conversation about computer software to the topic of babies. It was truly seven degrees of separation. No one knew how she could so readily foresee each conversation’s outcome and more than once it was suggested that she should become a fortuneteller.
She would be able to sit the person down and tell them that she could see that they would be talking about getting married and having children within one minute. It would start out, “I can see the Sun moving into Sagittarius like the model above a babies crib swinging in the cool summer breeze. The winds of change are blowing like the soft breathing of a sleeping baby. Have you felt that soft breathing of a baby? Do want to feel that soft breathing? So tell me about what your baby will be like when you have one.” And there you are talking about babies, even John would finish a two minute conversation catching himself as his co-workers smirk at him saying, “My babies will be so cute and I am going to take them to see every Knick’s game.” Madison would simply smile her radiant smile knowing that as long as she remained on earth the human race would continue.
Usually you expect a girl who is absolutely fixated on marriage and babies to be socially challenged in some way that prevents her from fulfilling her desire. Madison simply was an enigma. Here is the beautiful, bright, happy woman floating around on the desert island of grumpy career pursuing people (rework) unattached. John asked her at least once a month why she wasn’t married to which Madison would answer that she was very picky and then gives John a completely ambiguous wink that left him totally unable to do anything productive for at least a half of an hour.
John figured if there were a girl on earth who would both fulfill our requirements and benefit from its reality this would be Madison.
It continually amazed both John and I that this world was full of girls that we were extremely attracted to, yet we never found ourselves in the right circumstances to ask out. We had both decided a long time ago that the difference between girls that were able to get dates and girls that couldn’t get dates was the ability to give a man the opportunity to ask her out. Given the right situation most men will predictably come through with the obvious response.
Men are such simple creatures. We are more than ready to ask most girls out. The problem is that the finding a clever way to do it is the problem. If the girl ask us out we of course are flattered, but then we think they are desperate. If we don’t have to chase a little we feel a girl is easy. So it is simply up to the girl to give the “Live dangerously” look keeping us on our toes and helping us to feel like men.
For example, I knew a girl who had seen me around the office and so she asked one of her friends to introduce us sometime. So the next time I was speaking to this friend I was introduced to this girl. So now I knew who she was and it all seemed very innocent. I would say hi as we walked by each other in the hallway. Then one day a week later we happened to be alone in the kitchen together and she was struggling while trying to get the lid off of a fruit juice. Everyone in the world knows that any six year old can open a Snapple (I mean I am sure there are people who are paid to make sure that any six year old can open a Snapple [research this position]), but I still felt very masculine (after all sometimes one of the bottles can be on a little too tight (said in your most gruff masculine voice) know one was around and I asked the girl out. I really felt like a man it is dumb, but that is what men our good for. We open doors, bottles, remove light bulbs, and cut turkeys or tofu turkeys. This girl was simply a pro at giving men an opportunity to shine at doing what we are best at: being men. (Of course the way I found out about this ploy was because I talked to a friend that had it happen to him with one of her friends. Either Snapple was using some kind of new lid tightening machine or word was getting around.
Madison certainly presented interest on multiple levels for John. She was a challenge to figure out. That made her mysterious. Being mysterious is certainly one of a woman’s best assets. Because if a women is mysterious men will fixate on how the girl probably fulfills all of his fantasies. If she is quiet he figures she is a tiger in the bedroom and so on.
The fact that Madison was single also presented an interesting problem for John. (Social status) presents a real lose-lose situation for women. On one hand it a girl is single people wonder what is wrong with her she can’t get a date. This is multiplied if the girl is a catch. On the other hand if a girl is committed to a boyfriend than she is benched and can’t join the game. I don’t know what the solution is. I suppose the best solution is for a girl to have someone she is seeing, but unsure about whether she wants to continue to see him.
This gives a man the chance to be a good listener, of course he doesn’t much care about what the girl says, the real treasure chest is that the girl can directly tell the guy what she is looking for and the guy can then lie and tell the girl how he is all those things. Of course men don’t see far enough in the future to anticipate the trap they have been led into, because as is obvious when the truth is reveled, that the man is not even close to being what he said that he was, the girl now has ammunition to get () whatever she wants. So were the battles fought against Madison. Sometimes men are just a little too simple.
After narrowing down our candidates to three we did what any member of the productivity revolution would do, we built a Microsoft Excel Potential Wife Model. We entered in the women’s names in one row with headings for each criterion. We then assigned a weighted value to each criteria based on how important John or I felt about the particular requirement This way the girl with the highest score would be chosen. Although the criteria were subjective at least everyone was on a level playing field.
I don’t think John o r I thought at any point that any of the girls that we selected wouldn’t jump at the chance to marry either of us. So it goes with unlimited confidence and limited common sense. To understand the finer points of this Potential Wife Model it is quite useful for marriage and for ranking performance at your job.
Cute
Nice
Communication.

I think that Bill would be proud at how is software and a little creativity has really made a difference in this world.
In the end my Potential Wife Model told me that Sofia was my undisputed match. John, unfortunately, was not as lucky his problems began when he discovered that Ruth and Madison were tied as his perfect mate.
Sofia was a pleasant surprise. After going through this selection process the next step was to figure out how to ensure that a successful match would be made.
I figured out an ingenious plan to meet Sofia based on our past serendipitous meetings. If we pulled it off it would certainly be a good start down the path of marital bliss.
The plan was quite simple in fact. John would have lunch with Sofia at the café near the Ford Foundations building. Halfway through lunch John’s phone would ring and he would leave. Sofia would then have at least an half an hour to kill and she would hopefully drop in at the Ford Foundation Atrium, where I would be waiting and once again we would meet. At this point hopefully John would have primed her for my request get together sometime.
It the case the Sofia decided that she would not visit the Atrium John would warn me and I would chase her down so that we cold have a pleasantly unexpected run-in.